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"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?" … Ernest Hemingway

Sleep is so funny and elusive.  It’s a spoiled child who thinks it’s the center of the universe.  It wants what it wants only when it wants, but as adults, we only have a few hours to indulge it.  

I have struggled with sleep over the 18 months, but the last 3 weeks, excluding my drunken coma, I have been unable to sleep.   If I am not asleep by 4 am, I punish sleep by forcing myself to stay awake until the Sicilian Brothers. La Campagnia del Dolce Siciliana open at 5am.  Their better than sex, Cornettos start cascading from the oven by 5:30 then filled to order with your choice of Nutella, jam or a custard.   

 Today there was a “colpo d’aria” translated a  “violent thrust of cold air” or as we say in America  “a breeze”.  A “violent thrust of cold air” will strike fear in hearts of Italians and even in the intense summer months you will see scarves wrapped around their necks, as they make their way to the beach wearing a Speedo.  

 Frozen in fear, the Cornettos took longer to rise.  Therefore, they were not ready.  One of the brothers promised me they would be ready by 7 am.  A sacrifice, but I was sure I could resist Sleep for just a few more hours so Mouth could dance in heaven.

It was a rough battle of the wills between Mouth and Mind.  Stomach was there, to referee.   The temptress, Sleep was seducing Mind…While Stomach was growling at Mouth.  Sleep seductively whined and said, “Just eat a cracker and lets go to bed.”  Stomach said, “That’ll work.”  Mind said, “Sounds logical.”  Mouth said, “Fuck you!”  As the gatekeeper, Mouth has last say. 

 So Mind, wanting to impress Sleep, brought in Ass and Eyes.  “A cracker’ reasoned  Mind “is only 80 calories and no fat…Your cornetto is 487 and 23 grams of fat.”   Stomach, and Ass gasped as Sleep cheered and Eyes cried.  To which Mouth replied, “Fuck YOU!”

 Mind used force by making Ass move Legs to the bed.  Sleep hummed a hypnotic tune as Eyes shut.  All seemed lost for Mouth.  Then the gods intervened!   Stomach growled at exactly 6:55 and Mouth said “HA!”  So we all got up, skipped merrily down the street, plunked down our .90 cents and danced in heaven.  Then Mouth said, “Good night Bitches”, and we slept happily ever after.   


  1. buildingbeautiful posted this